Chocolate Cake Will Fail You Too

“You’re not going to find happiness in a piece of chocolate cake.”  Ok, I am paraphrasing Laurie from last week’s lecture.  But she did say something about chocolate cake not being able to provide lasting comfort when we are facing tough situations.

Is that really true?!  I thought chocolate solved pretty much all problems.

Of course, I am kidding.  I know, intellectually, that chocolate does not solve any problems.

But Laurie’s point hit home.  How many “chocolate cakes” do I turn to when I feel empty, isolated, sad, anxious, worthless or even when I’ve just had a tough day?  When I need to be comforted, to what do I turn?  For me, I turn inward and retreat.  I do something to distract my thoughts.  I may read a novel or watch a movie or surf the internet.  I may eat chocolate or even pull the covers over my head. Whatever I turn to, it is mindless and meaningless.  Sometimes, it doesn’t even cross my mind to stop and pray.

The Lord looks upon our hearts.  1 Sam 16:7 says, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  Even if I do not confess my sins, the Lord knows them all.  He knew everything about me before I was even born, and He knows everything about me now.  There is no place I can go to hide from Him.  (Psalm 139:7-8).

There is a particular sin I have been dealing with for a long while.  It has been so hard for me to understand why I haven’t been delivered from it.  I’ve confessed it and pleaded with the Lord to help me overcome it.  But this week, thinking about our lesson…about Jesus being led into the wilderness to fast for 40 days and 40 nights and to be repeatedly tempted by Satan, I realized I was like the Israelites who, also were led into the wilderness and repeatedly tested for 40 years. 40 years! God had to constantly work on their hearts to humble them and teach them to obey Him—and He is doing the same with me.

The first time I read that the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, I could hardly believe it. How could they not follow God’s commands after what they had witnessed? They had been delivered from plagues, from oppression; the sea had parted for them so they could escape Egypt! Then the Lord provided food and He even physically led them as they walked, day and night, towards the Promised Land.  What was wrong with these people??

After reading the account multiple times throughout the years, the Lord opened my eyes to see how much I am like those people who grumbled at Moses and disregarded God’s law.  I have the same sinful heart condition they did. I want to travel the path of least resistance and so did they.

So what did Jesus, our Lord, do when Satan tempted Him?  He quoted scripture.  We are told in Matthew 4: 1-11 that Satan tempted Jesus three times: to end His hunger, show His power, and grant Him the ultimate earthly throne. And three times Jesus repelled Satan with the Word of God.

I especially like Matthew 4:10, “Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’”  If Jesus tells Satan to be gone, then by His Spirit, I am empowered to do the same.

This all ties together.  When I feel dispirited over this particular sin or wanting that path of least resistance, I know I am more susceptible to the wiles of the enemy.  The moment I become aware that my thoughts are shifting to a negative spin-cycle, I must remind myself to fight.  To tell the enemy to be gone!  To count to 10, pray, and turn to scripture.

I carry scripture with me. It’s on my phone.  In my car. In my purse. It’s posted in my house and at work. Currently, I am carrying verses that remind me how much God loves me, so that I can meditate on how He wants what is best and highest for me; He is not some far-off judge who is waiting for me to trip up so He can punish me.  I am praying to know what Paul knew:

“I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:38-39 NLT).

That includes chocolate cake.

Growing in Grace

 

 

 

 

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Very Present

The Lord is allowing a challenging season in my life right now. I have two sweet babes, one that is 18 months old and one that is almost three months old. I’ve struggled a lot with even saying that this season is hard because I find myself feeling a lot of guilt for that. These boys are true gifts from God. There are people with their hearts just aching for babies and here I am with two. I also have many friends that have more babies than me and deal with so much more on a daily basis and so saying this is hard makes me feel like, quite frankly, just a wimp.

I honestly am right in the middle of these feelings and I don’t know what to do with them all. Many of my prayers lately have consisted of statements like “God will you just make sense of everything going on in my head because I’m too tired to even verbalize it all to you.”

One thing I know, however, is that my feelings just cannot be trusted. I’ve never been more aware of that as I see the highs and lows in any given day. It’s interesting to me, as I sit here and write this out how clear that is and yet in the middle of both boys screaming wanting mommy for hours on end, the feelings seem to be so much more real and present than God is. I read today in Lesson Four of Jesus I Need You, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). God is very present.

As I’ve gone through Jesus I Need You so far I’ve been made aware of how I think my relationship with Jesus is supposed to look, when in reality, I think it’s supposed to be entirely different. God is very present. This particular season I find myself in is not a “trial” that can be “fixed.” It’s not something I need healing from, it’s not something I need provision of. It’s just life as I know it, life as it was given. While I want and love comfort and things to be easy, that would mean not having life as it is right now and I don’t want that, I want my sweet babes, I’m so thankful for them. I’m beginning to ask God what it means to really have a relationship with Him. God is very present. How clear that is as I sit here during quiet nap time and write and think, but what does it look like to have this mind set in the screaming too?

When I sit here, when I stop and really think. Think on this scripture, that God is very present. I get out of my own head. I get out of trying to figure things out, make sense of everything. There’s one focus—this scripture telling me that God is very present. I step out of my world and think on things of God. I think on the unseen.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3).

I see right now that I have a choice, I can choose to believe that God is very present in the hard things or I can feel the despair when my schedule isn’t going the way I think it needs to, I can feel the hopelessness when he just won’t stop crying, I can feel the guilt at the end of the day when I process the impatience and frustration that I lashed out on my babies, I can feel the pain of comparison when I look at the temporary earthly “hards” of others and think I’m just a wimp I need to suck it up. God is very present. I’m beginning to see how it is possible to “Count it all joy” like James says when hard things happen. I’ve been asking God to help me feel His love for me. I’ve felt guilty even asking Him that question because I know that Jesus on the cross should be plenty evidence, and truly, it is, but in the despair of my earthly mind over this past month it’s been hard to see, but it’s truly in this hard, this difficulty that God is revealing He is in fact very present and right now as I write to you and process through this all for the first time in this way, I do feel His love for me.

Everything still doesn’t make sense, I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately trying to discern through all my feelings, but one thing I know for sure, God is very present. That’s true, that’s constant, and that’s everything. He is everything.

Life is hard and you may be experiencing something much more challenging in a worldly sense of the word, but the truth doesn’t change. Do you see that God is very present in your hard?

Planted for His Glory

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Before Whom Do I Kneel?

One of the things I love about Thistlebend studies is the emphasis on taking God’s Word to heart.  We do this by choosing a verse from our daily study that stands out to us, and then, each week, we choose one verse from the daily verses we have selected.  This verse becomes our “Taking the Truth to Heart” for the coming week.  We share this with the ladies in our small groups, along with practical ways we plan to apply the verse to our lives. I always put my verse on my phone’s calendar so it will pop up each day at a certain time. This helps me to pause, remember my verse, and consider how I am applying it.

I feel led to share my verse this week because the verse really struck me and revealed to me something significant about my heart.  My verse is Rev 4:11, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”

The verses prior to this one provide context. There is a description of heavenly beings who worship God, day and night.  The Bible tells us that whenever the living creatures give glory, the 24 elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say, “Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created” (Rev 4:11).

They worship God, day and night. They do not stop.

My first thought (to excuse my lack of worship) when I read this verse was, “well, those creatures and elders are all in the presence of God; they see His glory and power in a way those of us on earth cannot see Him.”  And I think maybe that is true.  In our earthly bodies and with our finite minds, we cannot see God the same way the heavenly creatures who surround Him do.

But then I thought, wait.  Those beings are with God, and now that they see Him, they cannot stop worshiping. All day and night. They are so deeply captivated by God and enthralled with His presence that they literally cannot stop worshiping Him. This brought me to thoughts of how I worship God.

Church. Bible Study. Song. Prayer.  Some daily, some weekly, but they sure aren’t all day, every day. In fact, I was convicted that I had not been following directions in our Bible Study to end our daily study in prayer on our knees. I can’t be bothered to kneel before God when I pray! If I’m brutally honest (and this is what Taking the Truth to Heart inspires – honesty with oneself), I approach God in a casual way. I don’t bow before Him. I don’t kneel before Him. I don’t treat Him with awe and reverence.

People in countries with any sort of monarchy bow before their earthly kings and queens. But how many of us bow before the King of the Universe?

For me (and I’m still meditating on the “why”), I think it’s because I don’t know God as my King. I still sit on the throne of my life. I occupy a seat that does not belong to me.

I remember Laurie sharing a quote with us from A.W. Tozer: “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” I believe Tozer is right. I want to be more mindful of God than of myself.  I want to bow before Him, and not the idols I have created. I want to love Him with all of my mind, heart, and strength. I’m so thankful to even have these desires, my His grace alone.

There are days my faith is tested and waivers. There are days I wonder where God is because He feels far away, and I feel like I don’t know Him—or myself. I praise God for the provision of a Bible Study that challenges me to look into my heart and ask myself what I believe. I thank Him for allowing me to look inside my heart and see the sin that’s there and that He gives me desire for repentance. And I praise God for His Word, which teaches, trains, reproves, and instructs.

My application for the week? Pray on my knees each day. Assume a posture of humility as I pray to the One I know is my King, to help me begin to experience Him as my King. I may not feel like He’s my King or act like it right now, but I know that He is so by His grace I will be putting my flesh to death this week that wants me to be casual with my creator and King and get on my knees and worship Him!

Do you worship the Lord in this way? Is He your King?

Growing in Grace

 

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