Laboring for the Lord

After a couple of months off, we are moving into our next season of Bible Study.  Our next study is called, Jesus, I Need You. The title alone describes how I feel!  I DO need Jesus!

At the beginning of every study, we do a week of orientation—we spend time reading and talking about why Thistlebend is structured the way it is, and what to expect from a Thistlebend study. Even though the information may feel repetitive for those of us who have taken Thistlebend studies, it is so helpful to be reminded of the mission of the ministry and framework of the studies. This time, I was reading through the Orientation Guide, re-visiting the SALT (submission, accountability, laboring, and transparency) model (a discipleship tool that Thistlebend follows with participants through their studies), when I felt I needed to linger over “laboring” a bit longer.

Philippians 2:12-13 says we are to: “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”  Our guide goes on to beautifully explain (and I am paraphrasing) that we are to “labor humbly with all diligence in devotion to prayer; in our study of God’s Word; in service; in obedience, in perseverance and diligence; in sound doctrine; and in repentance and faith.”

I know the Philippians 2 verses well.  It’s so helpful to understand that the pursuit of righteousness is not easy! For further clarification, I looked up these verses in different translations. The New Living Translation says it this way: “Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.”  The Living Bible says: “you must be even more careful to do the good things that result from being saved, obeying God with deep reverence, shrinking back from all that might displease him.”

I like the phrase: “work hard to show the results of your salvation.” Work hard. It is work to devote time to prayer when so many other things clamor for our attention; it is work to serve others instead of ourselves.  It is work to be obedient to the Lord, to persevere, to adhere to sound doctrine, to live a life of repentance and faith.  It is work.  It is hard, especially because our sin nature yearns to be satisfied and in order to work out our salvation, we have to continually beat back the desires of the flesh. It is a constant battle. God, in His great provision for His beloved children, gives us His Spirit, His energy, His Word, His promises, and His Son to help us overcome, but we must have faith in Him to do the work.  And growing in faith takes work.  It takes time, energy, and effort, discipline and commitment to knowing the One in whom we have placed our faith.

As rich as Philippians 2:12-13 is in doctrine, in truth, it is the next sentence in our guide that pierced my heart most: “Laboring in pursuit of righteousness is by no means to earn favor with the Lord or with one another.”  We don’t work out our salvation to earn favor with God (Eph 2:8-9) and we don’t do it to impress others.

A couple of years ago, I would have said that I did not labor in pursuit of righteousness to earn favor with other people.  But in recent months, the Lord has been revealing to me that I DO care what others think.  I have had to confess that I said or did things to try to impress my sisters in Christ with my “labors.”  In fact, I have had to confess that my willingness to be transparent was sometimes grounded in a desire to be heard, not out of a desire to open my heart to the Lord.  I had to look carefully at my motives. I had to confess to the Lord that I sometimes did my Bible Study homework not out of love for and devotion to Him, but because I wanted the ladies in my Small Group to know I was doing my study. I was stunned by these revelations and felt sick at my shallowness.  Even worse, God revealed to me that Bible Study was an idol for me.  I prioritized Bible Study over Him.  On the surface, I looked like a Christian woman desiring to know God more deeply.  On the inside, I felt distant from God and hollow. I was not growing in relationship with God. I was simply completing a task.

This is really hard stuff to admit. But there is such freedom in confession! I have truly taken 1 John 1:9 to heart: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  Yes, God forgives.  But He is faithful to cleanse us, too.  He lovingly equips us to change.

It is my deep desire to complete this upcoming study with a spirt of humility and authenticity.  I am praying that the Lord would help me to labor for Him out of my love for Him.  I pray that I will take to heart the truth that I do not need to earn His favor, Jesus secured that for me.  I don’t need anyone else’s approval, I don’t need to compare myself to anyone else, I don’t need to be anyone else but the person God made me to be.

Have you ever had realizations about yourself with Bible Study or a particular way you’re living?

Growing in Grace

 

 

 

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Chocolate Cake Will Fail You Too

“You’re not going to find happiness in a piece of chocolate cake.”  Ok, I am paraphrasing Laurie from last week’s lecture.  But she did say something about chocolate cake not being able to provide lasting comfort when we are facing tough situations.

Is that really true?!  I thought chocolate solved pretty much all problems.

Of course, I am kidding.  I know, intellectually, that chocolate does not solve any problems.

But Laurie’s point hit home.  How many “chocolate cakes” do I turn to when I feel empty, isolated, sad, anxious, worthless or even when I’ve just had a tough day?  When I need to be comforted, to what do I turn?  For me, I turn inward and retreat.  I do something to distract my thoughts.  I may read a novel or watch a movie or surf the internet.  I may eat chocolate or even pull the covers over my head. Whatever I turn to, it is mindless and meaningless.  Sometimes, it doesn’t even cross my mind to stop and pray.

The Lord looks upon our hearts.  1 Sam 16:7 says, “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  Even if I do not confess my sins, the Lord knows them all.  He knew everything about me before I was even born, and He knows everything about me now.  There is no place I can go to hide from Him.  (Psalm 139:7-8).

There is a particular sin I have been dealing with for a long while.  It has been so hard for me to understand why I haven’t been delivered from it.  I’ve confessed it and pleaded with the Lord to help me overcome it.  But this week, thinking about our lesson…about Jesus being led into the wilderness to fast for 40 days and 40 nights and to be repeatedly tempted by Satan, I realized I was like the Israelites who, also were led into the wilderness and repeatedly tested for 40 years. 40 years! God had to constantly work on their hearts to humble them and teach them to obey Him—and He is doing the same with me.

The first time I read that the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years, I could hardly believe it. How could they not follow God’s commands after what they had witnessed? They had been delivered from plagues, from oppression; the sea had parted for them so they could escape Egypt! Then the Lord provided food and He even physically led them as they walked, day and night, towards the Promised Land.  What was wrong with these people??

After reading the account multiple times throughout the years, the Lord opened my eyes to see how much I am like those people who grumbled at Moses and disregarded God’s law.  I have the same sinful heart condition they did. I want to travel the path of least resistance and so did they.

So what did Jesus, our Lord, do when Satan tempted Him?  He quoted scripture.  We are told in Matthew 4: 1-11 that Satan tempted Jesus three times: to end His hunger, show His power, and grant Him the ultimate earthly throne. And three times Jesus repelled Satan with the Word of God.

I especially like Matthew 4:10, “Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’”  If Jesus tells Satan to be gone, then by His Spirit, I am empowered to do the same.

This all ties together.  When I feel dispirited over this particular sin or wanting that path of least resistance, I know I am more susceptible to the wiles of the enemy.  The moment I become aware that my thoughts are shifting to a negative spin-cycle, I must remind myself to fight.  To tell the enemy to be gone!  To count to 10, pray, and turn to scripture.

I carry scripture with me. It’s on my phone.  In my car. In my purse. It’s posted in my house and at work. Currently, I am carrying verses that remind me how much God loves me, so that I can meditate on how He wants what is best and highest for me; He is not some far-off judge who is waiting for me to trip up so He can punish me.  I am praying to know what Paul knew:

“I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:38-39 NLT).

That includes chocolate cake.

Growing in Grace

 

 

 

 

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Very Present

The Lord is allowing a challenging season in my life right now. I have two sweet babes, one that is 18 months old and one that is almost three months old. I’ve struggled a lot with even saying that this season is hard because I find myself feeling a lot of guilt for that. These boys are true gifts from God. There are people with their hearts just aching for babies and here I am with two. I also have many friends that have more babies than me and deal with so much more on a daily basis and so saying this is hard makes me feel like, quite frankly, just a wimp.

I honestly am right in the middle of these feelings and I don’t know what to do with them all. Many of my prayers lately have consisted of statements like “God will you just make sense of everything going on in my head because I’m too tired to even verbalize it all to you.”

One thing I know, however, is that my feelings just cannot be trusted. I’ve never been more aware of that as I see the highs and lows in any given day. It’s interesting to me, as I sit here and write this out how clear that is and yet in the middle of both boys screaming wanting mommy for hours on end, the feelings seem to be so much more real and present than God is. I read today in Lesson Four of Jesus I Need You, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). God is very present.

As I’ve gone through Jesus I Need You so far I’ve been made aware of how I think my relationship with Jesus is supposed to look, when in reality, I think it’s supposed to be entirely different. God is very present. This particular season I find myself in is not a “trial” that can be “fixed.” It’s not something I need healing from, it’s not something I need provision of. It’s just life as I know it, life as it was given. While I want and love comfort and things to be easy, that would mean not having life as it is right now and I don’t want that, I want my sweet babes, I’m so thankful for them. I’m beginning to ask God what it means to really have a relationship with Him. God is very present. How clear that is as I sit here during quiet nap time and write and think, but what does it look like to have this mind set in the screaming too?

When I sit here, when I stop and really think. Think on this scripture, that God is very present. I get out of my own head. I get out of trying to figure things out, make sense of everything. There’s one focus—this scripture telling me that God is very present. I step out of my world and think on things of God. I think on the unseen.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:1-3).

I see right now that I have a choice, I can choose to believe that God is very present in the hard things or I can feel the despair when my schedule isn’t going the way I think it needs to, I can feel the hopelessness when he just won’t stop crying, I can feel the guilt at the end of the day when I process the impatience and frustration that I lashed out on my babies, I can feel the pain of comparison when I look at the temporary earthly “hards” of others and think I’m just a wimp I need to suck it up. God is very present. I’m beginning to see how it is possible to “Count it all joy” like James says when hard things happen. I’ve been asking God to help me feel His love for me. I’ve felt guilty even asking Him that question because I know that Jesus on the cross should be plenty evidence, and truly, it is, but in the despair of my earthly mind over this past month it’s been hard to see, but it’s truly in this hard, this difficulty that God is revealing He is in fact very present and right now as I write to you and process through this all for the first time in this way, I do feel His love for me.

Everything still doesn’t make sense, I’ve been asking God a lot of questions lately trying to discern through all my feelings, but one thing I know for sure, God is very present. That’s true, that’s constant, and that’s everything. He is everything.

Life is hard and you may be experiencing something much more challenging in a worldly sense of the word, but the truth doesn’t change. Do you see that God is very present in your hard?

Planted for His Glory

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