“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).
If I really allow myself to sit and think about the past few weeks and the way I have been acting it is very easy to feel like a complete failure. My quiet times have been slim to none and when I have had them they have been half-hearted and rushed. My focus has been completely on my to-do list and how to get everything done and unpacked in our new house before our sweet little one comes. In my uncomfortableness in the last few weeks of pregnancy, I have been anything but grateful and just a complainer instead. I read a blog post the other day where a writer described herself as a “feeler,” and I think this describes me pretty well myself.
And I really hate to admit this as well, but this morning as I was praying for a co-worker who had asked me to pray for them, all I could feel was like I was in some way better. Why would God answer this prayer for them? They don’t follow the Lord. The Lord began to convict me as I realized that I don’t deserve for my prayers to be answered either. And not just because I haven’t been having quiet times, and not just because I haven’t been praising the Lord 24/7, and not just because I haven’t been a “good Christian” lately. I don’t deserve anything from the Lord because I am sinful. Apart from Christ I am nothing—NOTHING! And I am nothing not just when I am convicted of sin, but I am nothing all the time. It is awful that it takes me making a mental checklist in my head of all the things I have been doing “wrong” in Christian culture these days to remind me of my depravity.
My flesh wants to feel guilty. My flesh wants to feel frustrated over the sin I’m being allowed to see in my life today as my focus is completely on me and not the Lord. The pride, the self-righteousness, the unbelief is so evident. And why haven’t I been able to get better at this yet? But praise be to God that He reminded me of Romans 8:1 today. And I’m super thankful for a sweet friend yesterday who brought to mind that I can’t experience the true beauty of the truth of this Scripture if I don’t completely take it to heart and rest in what it says. Because of Jesus there is no condemnation! I want to feel righteous before I come to the Lord. I want to have my act together so badly before I come before His throne, but the truth is I just can’t. The truth is, the real truth is, that I can bring all to Him and lay all my yuckiness at the cross because of JESUS! So by God’s grace, I’m choosing to look at this truth today over looking at my sin and comparing myself to “good girl Christian ways.” Thank you, Jesus, that there is now no condemnation because of you!
Planted for His Glory