Overcoming Shopping

Where do I begin? I would describe myself as overwhelmed with emotions. At the beginning of this week, I was so ready to take on my fast of shopping. I was only going to buy things I needed such as toiletries and groceries. Worldly possessions had begun to rule over my heart. I would constantly browse the Internet for new clothes and home décor. I certainly didn’t buy everything I wanted but I would click that add to cart button just to feel like I was buying that top I wanted. The first couple of days I was doing very well. I didn’t click on the 40% off, $10 dresses, or Bogo emails. I was so prideful that it had been all MY doing.

It hit me like a sucker punch Friday evening when I realized I had an annual charity event to attend and I had gotten rid of all my dress heels during Spring Cleaning. I convinced myself it was a need and not a want.

As I stepped through the doors of DSW, I was so excited! I went straight for the clearance section to find dress shoes. It was crazy the amount of dress shoes there were to choose from. I stubbornly convinced myself that God put them all there for me. HA! After grabbing shoes to wear to the event I began to walk through the aisles and aisles of shoes, my flesh so happy. I began to make mental notes about certain shoes I would buy after the fast! I am so ashamed to admit I caved and bought sandals along with the dress shoes. I convinced myself it was a need and not a want because warm weather is approaching. I left the store so proud of myself that I had done so well.

The guilt didn’t begin to kick in till I began to write this blog post. Now I am ashamed and feel so raw. I am now realizing that I have let my flesh get in the way of honoring our Lord. How sweet it is that the Lord has revealed my wrong doing. My flesh does not want me to weep over my sin but yet I am. It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within me that I am even able to see my sin. It is now a new week and I am ready to tackle my love of worldly possessions once again. I am not sure how long I will continue this fast but I believe the Lord wants me to continue until my flesh is no longer aroused by the Instagram posts of my favorite stores and the e-mails I receive regarding sales. This is the prayer I will begin to pray over each morning and every time I feel my flesh becoming aroused.

O Heavenly Father,

I come to you knowing I am in love with worldly possessions. I want to love you more, I want to feel just as excited to enter your Word and worship you as I am searching for the perfect outfit. You are so much more than a new a dress. You are Lord. You are King of all. Your love fulfills me; it is all I need. I only need your approval, Lord, not the approval of my friends, family, or strangers. I know I can only deny my flesh through you. You are the strength I can rely on. I need to cast all my fear onto you God, because you can handle what I cannot. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world passes away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17, RSV).

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.  

Showered in His Love