The Busy Season

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As I’ve mentioned before, my husband and I have quite a few changes coming our way in a little under 12 weeks, but who’s counting? Lord willing, we will have a new baby, be in a new house, and my job situation will be different as well. Many things are up in the air—when we will officially move, when our baby will actually be here, what his schedule will be like, and when my job will officially make a change. My husband, while staying busy with work all day then comes home to more work for our new house or more chores that need to get done or you name it, there’s just a lot going on. I’ve been really scared about all of these things, as I’ve probably also mentioned before. I have no idea what life is going to be like, and I’m realizing how much I really don’t like that. I hate it actually.

As I drove to my house after a weekend away for a bachelorette celebration and really not getting to be with my husband at all, I became more and more sad, then angry, then fearful. My thought pattern went something along these lines. First I was sad because I hadn’t talked to my husband that much while I was out of town. Then I was angry with him, and I started blaming him in my head because he’s always working, and I was making up lies that I’m not a priority. And then I became fearful because we’ve got a little one on the way, and I can only imagine that things are going to get crazier, and we’re never going to get our alone time back again. And if this is already how we are now, what’s going to happen when kids are in the picture? Now, trust me, I know I was being dramatic after just one weekend away, but the enemy has just used the slightest change for me and my husband in my head lately to send me for a loop.

I did share these things with my husband when I came home and the Lord sweetly provided time for us that evening, but sadly, it just wasn’t enough…I wanted more. I wanted the busyness to just be gone, I wanted to just be on our honeymoon 24/7, and my attitude was just sour because things were not going my way. I keep dreaming about how life will just be so much easier when things slow down, and then I get really scared as I realize that I don’t know if that is ever going to happen.

Over the weekend I chatted with one of my best friends about praying open handedly. I started to really think about what that looked like. I’ve been praying for a certain timing on things to work out, for all outcomes to work out the way I want them to, and I pray and say I want the Lord’s will, whatever He wants for His glory, but my pouty attitude definitely proved otherwise last night. This morning, I honestly hadn’t even realized all this self-righteous sin that was oozing out of me as I did my quiet time. The Fearless study at the beginning of week 6 prompted me to read Galatians 2:20 and to really think about what I have been given in Christ, and because of what I’ve been given, how to live fearlessly.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20).

As I thought more about this verse, I looked and saw one of our wedding pictures on the wall. You don’t see our faces at all in this picture. All you see is our backs, our arms around each other, facing forward, heads bowed in prayer during our ceremony. The Lord put in front of my eyes what our life should be about—together as one, bowing before His throne, wanting His way alone. Because the lives that my husband and I live are no longer ours, but we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us, the sadness, the anger, the fear cycle that I have been experiencing does not have to happen. Those feelings have no power over me. The Lord gently used this verse and our wedding picture to remind me that our lives are not to be easy and comfortable. We may be in a busy season and, yeah, it may be awesome to be in a slower season soon, but there’s no reason to be scared of the craziness and the unknown. Instead, we can learn to team together during this season for the glory of God alone, and that’s so much better than being on a honeymoon 24/7. We must lean on our God to guide us and we must be given grace to trust Him. Fear will not prevail because our God has already won. I know I will need this reminder many times. My flesh is so weak, and in my flesh I am so selfish, but I’m thankful for the Lord’s grace as He sweetly leads me and my husband through this crazy season, again, all for His glory.

Planted for His Glory

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Is Prayer Important?

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Several months ago, a friend posted on Facebook about a current-events situation that seemed pretty bleak. One of his friends responded that we needed to pray for those involved.  My friend’s response: “Why? Prayer doesn’t change anything.”

This week, in the Fearless devotional, we looked at prayer…and not just anyone’s prayer life. Jesus’ prayer life. Jesus, in the short time He walked this earth as a man, modeled for us the importance of prayer. If prayer changed nothing, if it were meaningless and unnecessary, we would not have Jesus’ teaching about it or example in it — nor would the Bible provide us so many different accounts of how prayer changed lives and events throughout Scripture.

This week, we read Matthew 14:23, 25: “And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray.  …And in the fourth watch of the night, he came to them, walking on the sea.” I looked up the when the fourth watch of the night was. It was 3 to 6am. So, Jesus spent a long time in prayer and in solitude with His Father. But perhaps what struck me most was that He TOOK the time. This was God himself! He could have talked to the Father in a nano-second; they shared the same divine mind! He had such limited time on earth, such limited time for ministry, but He took the time to retreat. He took the time to pray. I think I have plenty of important things to do in my day, but let’s face it; none of them are remotely close to feeding thousands of hungry people or healing the sick. That’s the kind of work Jesus was doing, and He refused to sacrifice His time with God.

The Lord’s Prayer, which Jesus prays as an example for us, is packed full of wisdom and knowledge. As I read this familiar prayer this week, I contemplated Laurie’s questions: if I make this prayer my own, what do I need to adjust in my thinking in order to pray this prayer honestly? Do I believe that my Father is in heaven? Whose name do I wish to exalt — His or mine? Whose will do I really wish to accomplish — His or mine?

These questions helped me understand that I do NOT have eyes to see as God does. None of us do. God’s ways are so much higher than ours. We are weak-minded. We are human. It was in seeing these truths that I understood why people think prayer is unimportant. We (a) pray according to our own will; and (b) expect God to answer our prayers according to our limited human mindset.  We think we know best. When prayers aren’t answered quickly or in the way we expected, perhaps it is easier to assume that our prayers are ignored than acknowledge that God is God and we are not.

As for me, there are prayers I lift up regularly to the Lord that have not yet been answered. But there are also many prayers He has answered, life-changing prayers of deliverance, of restoration, of provision, of salvation. And Scripture continually reminds us to turn to prayer, in all circumstances:

“…pray without ceasing…” (1 Thess. 5:17).

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil. 4:6).

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Eph. 6:18 NIV).

Prayer is a gift to us. It allows us to commune with our loving and holy Father who deeply wishes to be in relationship with us. And when we pray with others, it allows us to bond with one another in a much deeper way than regular conversation permits.

So, back to my Facebook friend. I admit I did not comment on his post that day.  But one thing I did do. I prayed for him.

Growing in Grace

 

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A Prayer to the One Who Answers

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Abba Father,

You are the One who answers prayers. Your Word tells me this is true and you don’t lie. You are faithful and true. You hear me, you hear my cry, you know my thoughts, before a word is on my tongue, behold you know it completely! You hem me in behind and before. You surround me with shouts of deliverance. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

You are good and your love endures forever. You love is steadfast, immovable. Eternal. From everlasting to everlasting. You are my Shelter — my refuge from the storm and the pain. Your Son endured the pain for me — the pain I deserved! You love me. I love you only because you first loved me. You lifted me out of the pit. You ransomed me from the futile ways of my forefathers.

Help me become a true prayer warrior. Change the desires of my heart. I confess my unbelief and repent and choose to believe that you answer prayer. You have answered thousands of my prayers. Many in ways I could never have imagined. You are listening to me right now. You are the God who Sees Me. Jesus is my Advocate, my portion forever. He lives to intercede for me. Help me to live to intercede for others!

I love you Lord, my God, my Rock, my Strength, and my Song!

Learning to Live in the Garden of Grace

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