A few weeks ago, I looked at my calendar and was suddenly filled with anxiety.  My schedule was just too full.  I started to feel overwhelmed. Fearful. My first reaction was “what can I drop from my schedule to gain a few badly needed hours each week?”  And sadly, Bible Study was the first thing that came to mind.

This gave me pause.

Why would Bible Study be the first thing I would let go?  Is it because the committee I’m a part of at my son’s school would be angry at me if I dropped out?  Is it because I don’t want to let down a friend?  Is it because I fear keeping better boundaries at work will make me look less dedicated?

All of those concerns involve people and potentially disappointing people.  I fear what people think of me.  I fear letting people down.  But as God’s Word reminds me, they are people, NOT God!  Where are my priorities?

In the book of Job, God asks seventy-seven questions of Job that remind us that God’s ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, have you ever in your life commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the ends of the earth…” (Job 38:4, 12).

God alone is worthy of all praise. He alone is to be worshipped.  And yet, it crossed my mind to drop out of Bible Study just a couple of weeks before it was scheduled to start.  I just wanted a quick solution to my overly-full calendar.  I was tempted to pull out of studying God’s Word – the God of the universe.  The God of all creation.  The God who saved me.

I’m so grateful for the Thistlebend studies for the truth I have learned.  I now know how to recognize my sin, to see how my sinful flesh reacts to stress.  I go into self-protective mode.  I don’t seek God.  My gaze is set on the things of this earth, not the Lord.

So…it was with a thankful heart that I started our new study: “Jesus, I Want to Love You.” I know I need God’s Word and I desperately want to love Jesus more.

I am participating in this study via the online group.  I have a friend and accountability partner which is absolutely key for me – it’s easy to drift in on-line studies without someone to keep you accountable. I watched Laurie’s teaching via video and was very encouraged.  As I listened to Laurie, I felt my heart breathe a sigh of relief. I was back in the safety of God’s Word.  Life is hard. Life is busy. We will struggle with the tension of what our flesh longs for and what we desire to do for the Lord and in our walk with the Lord.  BUT, I now can say with certainty that I’m dropping my anchor again and saying “NO” to earthly commitments, NOT my Bible Study.

If you are in a season of life that seems overwhelming and you feel like you need to cut back on commitments, I pray you will not drop out of your Bible Study or discontinue your quiet time.  Time with Jesus fortifies us. I have found time and again, that when I am overcommitted but stay faithful in my commitment to study God’s Word, He opens space in my schedule. He blesses my effort.  I know he will bless yours, too.

Growing in Grace

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