Yahweh, I Am Writing to You

Father, I am wounded, but you will heal me. Right now, I am writing to you because my heart is hurting. Your truth said in Psalm 119:130 that your Word “imparts understanding to the simple.” I am learning how simple I am. I know I am to trust you, YAHWEH. You are “I AM.” I see that my flesh and my feelings are my pit of destruction. Psalm 40 reminds me that you have pulled those you love from this pit before. I know you will pull me out of this pit, I understand that I am to trust you IN ALL THINGS. But, my heart is hurting.

You keep me not just today, but every day single day. My heart feels like it has no joy right now, but I want to be filled with a love that brings such sweet joy no matter my wounds. Take my heart and keep it. Take my mind and keep it. You are my provider, my stronghold, my safe place. YAHWEH, I have to keep speaking these truths to myself right now because my flesh and feelings want to take my eyes off of you. Right now, I need to thank you; I need to praise you. I need to stop and come before you, on my knees as I write this. I need to lift up praise. “Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you” (Psa. 63:3).

I thank you for peeling back the layers that were on my heart and covering my eyes. Your magnificence, glory, and majesty can never be surpassed. You have sustained all things, my great Lord. You are Elohim. The one and only true God! Your ways are spectacular and I know this because I have read of your works and I have seen them with my eyes. I know you are sovereign. This life is not meant to be lived without knowing you. Not just knowing of you; knowing you. Knowing you so deeply that my heart aches be alone in my time with you.

These worries, cares, and things of this world are too heavy for me. I want to be so close to you that none of this matters anymore. I want to want you more than anything because I know you are real. Needing you more is what I need, but I know I am not capable of loving you this deeply without you giving me the grace to do so. Give me a desire to want to be so close to you that I see nothing else. Give me a spark. Let this spark ignite a flame that sets my heart ablaze for you. In the day, night, and even in the seconds never let this flame cease to burn. Like David, help me to earnestly seek you in everything, every matter. I am falling in love with you YAHWEH, and I feel so overwhelmed with gratefulness that you have allowed me to fall into you, rest in you, and to delight in you.

I use to wonder, “Why me?” But now I say, “Thank you for choosing me.” This love is something I have never felt before. I never knew I could feel this from you. I am your daughter, heir, and your creation. I am completely yours. If doubt comes upon me, never let it tarry in my mind. Let the words of Psalm 63 wash over me, let your Word dissolve all that is not like you in me. I know there will be failure, but don’t let me settle there. That is not where I want to dwell. Instead let me dwell in your presence. Allow me to think on these things: the God that has a heart for me gave His Son, Jesus. Jesus took my place. He took upon himself the “accursed tree.” He thought of me and drank the cup I could not. The lamb of God blameless and perfect became sin. He took the sin of the world. Jesus took my place so I could stand before God. He loved me enough to die for me, and when He rose from the dead I was raised with Him and was given the gift of life, the gift of grace, the love of mercy.

On days like this, I will pick this up and read my letter to you. I will be thankful for seeing that there was nothing I could do to pay my debt, and you made provision for me. Let me see that in these moments I still want everything to be for you. My marriage, my home, my family is all for you. No matter what is to come, you have been for me what no one has ever been, my Savior. I am not sure what my future may hold from here on out, but let my confidence never wavier. Even though I am simple and made of flesh and blood, “My beloved is mine, and I am his” (Song of Sol. 2:16). For all my days, be my Beloved above everyone and everything. No matter what.

Love, your daughter

All for His Glory