Doing Things Christ’s Way

Lesson 9 of Heart of a Woman, “Tenderly Tending: Speaking the Truth in Love,” was probably the most confronting lesson in the entire study for me! But glory to God! I am excited to share what the Lord is doing through this lesson. Most of all, through this lesson I was reminded that there is a biblical manner in which to conduct ourselves at all times. First, I will confess, I was a little rough around the edges when it came to “speaking the truth in love.” I am all about letting someone know how I feel. I couldn’t help myself! And let me tell you, everything from feelings to half-baked thoughts would come spewing from my mouth in moments that would have been great opportunities to hold my tongue. Not only had I not been great at this, but I also have begun to see that I am great at telling others what they should be doing, and in my own actions doing the complete opposite. In this lesson my self-righteousness and pride became so apparent.

Not too long ago, I confided in my sweet sister-in-law about an issue I was having with a person I know is a Christian. The issue of not “feeling” like this person liked me very much had started to become a focal point because I encounter this person once a week. But! This wasn’t the first time I had spoken to my sister-in-law about taking issue with how people treated me. This was just the first time I may have been willing to listen to the wise counsel she was giving me. To make a long story short, after I proceed to tell her my feelings, she so sweetly in love said some things that have stuck with me. She spoke to me about my feelings and how she has noticed this pattern beginning to appear in my life. She pointed out to me that running with my feelings all the time instead of seeking Christ was not the biblical way to do things. And then she lovingly guided me to a passage in the Bible that spoke on how to practically deal with this concern. In a nut shell, this was the basis of our conversation: (1) Proverbs 14:12: “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death,” (2) Proverbs 28:26: “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered,” and (3) Matthew 18:15-20: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.  Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

I honestly couldn’t believe that I was going to have to deal with this in a mature, godly manner. I mean my goodness, all I really wanted to do was to confront the person the way I knew how! At first I was so scared. Just the thought of exposing how I felt about this person was uncomfortable. But thank the Lord, He didn’t call us to be comfortable. Instead, what I received through this process was so much more than comfort. It was growth! Ladies, let me just say how nervous I was to reveal that part of me, to open up and say, “Could you please help me resolve this?” I felt exposed. But with the help of the godly women in this ministry, there was victory through Christ! Even though I still struggle here, I no longer seek to appease my flesh in this area. Without the women who came along side to help me, I honestly wouldn’t be writing this blog. I would have allowed my feelings and flesh to rule, I would have isolated myself, and I would have held bitterness in my heart for a long period of time. But I am so appreciative that at this time in my life I had “Christ-centered friendships” as the study describes. These women were truly diligent and prayerful throughout the entire process.

I thought a lot about the words in “Day One: Tenderly Tending: Speaking the Truth in Love”: “As a Christian, we are an extension of Christ himself. When we more fully understand our position in Christ, we see our part in His body. We understand it and act upon it. We become an extension of Him, a reflection of His character.” It made me think, when someone sees me, what are they seeing? Are they seeing the person who wants to be known? The person that finds their identity in how they feel, or who/what they know? Or are they seeing Christ? I am so new to doing things in the way Christ has called us to do them. But I love that He is growing me in areas that have gone unchecked for so long. He is chipping away at this hardened heart, But in the process I am finding that I am being transformed.

All for His Glory