His Kingdom. Not mine. I had a rude awakening last week as God gently reminded me of this reality. I woke up feeling anxious with a “to-do” list for the day that seemed completely impossible. I went through my prayer time and definitely felt some of the heaviness lift as I offered praise and thanksgiving for Him being Sovereign, Mighty, and In-Control. But somehow I managed to get through the Confession part of the study that day without recognizing my anxiousness and self-sufficiency as something I needed to repent of; I seem to be having a constant struggle with walking out by faith what I know to be true in my head.
So, I start my morning routine and as I am reading the boys their morning devo’s, God graciously spoke to my heart and revealed the root of my anxiety. I was reading Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing by Sally Lloyd-Jones, and she writes, “In the beginning, God sang everything into being—for the joy of it—and set the whole universe dancing. God was in the center, at the heart of everything.” That was all I needed to read. “God was at the center, at the heart of everything.”
I looked at the corresponding illustration in the book by Jago and I heard God whisper to my heart, “Angie, who is at the center? Is it you?” In that moment, though I sensed my smallness, I also felt such relief and peace. It wasn’t about me. God was at the center. The world was not revolving around me (Lord, help us all if that were true) but was spinning and circling around the Sovereign One, Creator of All, our Perfect, Holy, and Righteous King.
As Laurie taught an In the Garden lecture, she reminded us that Jesus modeled this same heart posture in the Lord’s prayer:
For His Name,
For His Kingdom,
For His Will.
There is no me or I in this, and we can be so thankful! I have seen and experienced first hand that when my heart posture and actions become about my name, my kingdom, and my will everything becomes a mess. So thankful for this prayer study and the daily reminder to start my day on my knees, to remind not only my mind, but also my heart and flesh that it is about Him, His Kingdom, His Name and His Will. And that, my friends, is the dance around our Glorious Father that I want to be a part of.
This post has been contributed
to the Thistlebend blog anonymously.