Have you ever heard the expression “Hurts so Good?” When I hear it, I think of elite athletes whose training must hurt, but is ultimately deemed “good” because it yields impressive gains. That’s where I am today in our current study, Falling in Love Again With Your Husband. It hurts so good. It hurts because it’s hard and convicting, but it’s good because I know I am growing.
This week during lecture, Laurie shared with us that man’s chief end – our purpose in life – is to glorify God and enjoy Him. I have heard this before and I believe it. God made me. God saved me. Jesus did not die on a cross for me to be a lover of self and a slave to sin. He died so that I might know freedom and life – in Him. He loves me with a perfect love and wants to be in relationship with me. Being close to the Lord and in fellowship with Him fills our hearts with the sweetest of joys.
Laurie then went on to say something I had not heard before. Because I am created by God to be my husband’s helper (Genesis 2:18), glorifying the Lord in my home is my greatest calling as a wife and mother.
I know that God’s Word does indeed say that woman was created to be a helper for her husband. But I do not act as though I know what God’s Word says. I have been a stay at home mom for a long time. I feel like our home is MY domain. After all, I do the vast majority of the chores relating to our home. I feel like I can make decisions without consulting my husband. If I’m really honest, I feel like I know our children better because I spend more time with them, thus making me more “qualified” to parent them. I have not shown my husband the respect he deserves, and over the years, this has chipped away at and undermined his leadership in our home.
So…I have had to confess to God that not only do I fail to act like a helper to my husband, I have had to confess that my agenda, my needs, are more important to me than his are. How do I glorify God in our home when I just confessed such ugliness?
First, I must make God my priority over everyone and everything. This can only be achieved through time in His Word, so that my mind may be renewed and transformed. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think,” (Romans 12:2a NLT).
Second, I must follow God. I must obey His Word. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says,” (James 1:22 NIV).
Third, I must pray continually, and take every thought captive. “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” (2 Corinthians 10:5). I must consider, are my words and deeds glorifying to God? And then, are my words and actions helpful and encouraging to my husband?
All of this begins with my relationship with God. It is God who works within me. He has given me a helper – His Holy Spirit – to follow His commands. Trying to be a Godly wife in my own strength could never work. It’s too lofty a task, and my flesh is too weak.
This week, the Lord has impressed upon me to think of two ways I can help or encourage my husband. Admittedly, it’s a small start, but it is a start. I am praying that my husband may be positively affected not by my words but by my behavior. “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands…so that they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct,” (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Growing in Grace